Do Egg Donors Meet the Intended Parents

Do Egg Donors Meet the Intended Parents? 

Sometimes — and increasingly. Whether a meeting happens depends entirely on the disclosure level both parties choose in the legal agreement: anonymous arrangements involve no meeting, semi-known arrangements may include a first-names-only video call, and known arrangements can include in-person meetings and ongoing contact. Neither side can impose a meeting on the other. 

The one thing to understand first 

Meetings aren’t a service the agency grants or withholds — they’re a consequence of a mutual choice made during the legal phase. Both the donor and the intended parents state their preferences before matching, and matching aligns them. A donor who wants anonymity is never matched with parents who want a relationship, and vice versa. The full spectrum of levels and what each means is at anonymous vs known egg donation; this piece covers what a meeting actually looks like when it happens. 

What a semi-known meeting typically involves 

The most common format in modern donation, and the one families ask about most. 

Video call, first names only. Usually 30–60 minutes, arranged and hosted by the agency, often before the cycle begins. Identifying details — last names, addresses, workplaces, social media — stay out of it, and the coordinator sets that boundary explicitly at the start so neither side has to police it awkwardly. 

What people actually talk about. Rarely medicine. Donors ask about the family’s story and what brought them here; parents ask about the donor’s motivations, her family, what she’s like. Both sides describe it as more ordinary and less charged than they expected — one coordinator’s summary is that people arrive nervous and leave slightly stunned at how normal it felt. 

Why families want it. Most often, to be able to tell their child something real someday: not “we chose profile 4471” but “she was studying nursing, she laughed a lot, she said she did this because her aunt couldn’t have children.” 

Why donors want it. Most often, to make the abstraction concrete — to know a specific family, not a hypothetical one. 

What in-person and ongoing contact look like 

Less common but not rare, particularly in known arrangements and within heritage communities where families sometimes already share cultural context. Formats range from a single meeting before the cycle, to photo and milestone updates through the agency, to genuine ongoing relationships in a small number of cases. What matters is that every one of these is defined in the legal agreement rather than improvised — including how contact happens, through whom, and what happens if either party’s comfort changes. Vagueness here is what creates the awkward stories; specificity is what prevents them. 

When meetings don’t happen 

Anonymous arrangements remain common and entirely legitimate. Donors choose them for privacy, simplicity, or family considerations; intended parents choose them to keep one relationship fewer in an already overfull season. Nobody involved should feel that anonymity is the lesser choice — it isn’t, and any agency implying otherwise is pressuring people about a deeply personal decision. 

One honest note, covered fully on the parent page: contracted anonymity governs sanctioned contact, and consumer DNA testing has made absolute lifelong anonymity impossible for anyone to guarantee. That reality is worth factoring into the choice, which is exactly why we’d rather you decide deliberately than by default. 

Can you change your mind later? 

By mutual consent, yes — agreements can be renegotiated as people’s comfort evolves, and it does evolve. Donors who chose anonymity at 24 sometimes feel differently at 34; families who wanted distance during treatment sometimes want a channel once a child starts asking questions. What can’t happen is one party unilaterally imposing contact on the other. Your coordinator and your attorney handle the mechanics if either side raises it. 

How meetings fit into the process 

Practically: preferences are stated at application and profile creation, alignment happens during matching (how matching works), terms are formalized in the legal phase, and any pre-cycle meeting is typically scheduled between legal clearance and the start of medication. Nothing about a meeting delays the medical calendar. 

Intended parents: talk through your preference at consultation — find an egg donor. Prospective donors: your preference is yours alone, and no coordinator here will push it — become an egg donor. Or call 1-212-661-7177. 

Frequently Asked Questions –

Q. Do egg donors meet the intended parents?

A. Sometimes — it depends on the disclosure level both parties mutually choose in the legal agreement.

Q. What happens in a donor–parent video call?

A. Typically 30–60 minutes, first names only, agency-hosted, covering motivations and family stories rather than medical detail.

Q. Can a donor refuse to meet?

A. Yes — meetings require both parties’ agreement, and matching aligns preferences beforehand.

Q. Do donors find out if a baby is born?

A. Only where the agreed disclosure level provides for updates; otherwise no.

Q. Can we change the arrangement later?

A. By mutual consent, yes — agreements can be renegotiated.

By Dr. Veera Saghar — Egg Donor Coordinator, EggDonors4All. Medically reviewed by Rashmi Gulati, MD — Medical Director, Patients Medical