Choosing Between Surrogacy, Adoption, and Embryo Adoption: A Comprehensive Guide

Introduction

Building a family doesn’t always follow the traditional path. Whether you’re facing infertility, are part of the LGBTQ+ community, or are looking for non-biological options, you’ve likely explored surrogacy, traditional adoption, and embryo adoption.

Each offers the joy of parenthood—but the journey, timeline, cost, and emotional experience can be vastly different.

This blog compares these three options to help you make an informed decision based on your values, resources, and readiness.

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy involves a gestational carrier who becomes pregnant through IVF using an embryo from:

• Intended parent’s sperm and egg
• Donor sperm and/or donor egg
• Donor embryo (rare)

The baby is not genetically related to the surrogate, and the intended parents are legally recognized as the parents at birth.

Pros:

• Biological link (if using own gametes)
• Full parental rights from day one
• Pre-birth legal agreements
• Predictable timeline and control

Cons:

• Cost: $80,000–$150,000+
• Legal and medical complexity
• Ethical questions for some
• Not allowed in all countries

What Is Traditional Adoption?

Adoption places a child born to another person with the adoptive family permanently, often through:

• Private infant adoption
• Foster-to-adopt
• International adoption

The child may be an infant, toddler, or older—and genetically unrelated to the adoptive parents.

Pros:

• Ethical focus on child welfare
• Fulfills urgent needs of children
• Costs vary (low for foster care, higher for private)
• May involve open or closed contact with birth family

Cons:

• Less control over timeline and matching
• Emotional uncertainty (especially if adoption is disrupted)
• Waitlist times: 6–36+ months
• No genetic link

What Is Embryo Adoption (or Donation)?

Embryo adoption uses surplus embryos from another family’s IVF cycle. You:

• Receive the embryo
• Undergo a frozen embryo transfer
• Carry and give birth yourself
• Raise the child as your legal offspring

Embryo adoption allows parents to experience pregnancy without using their own eggs or sperm.

Pros:

• Lower cost than surrogacy ($5,000–$20,000)
• Experience of pregnancy and childbirth
• Higher success rates than traditional adoption
• Legal parenthood is established at birth

Cons:

• No genetic link
• May require complex matching or counseling
• Must undergo medical screening and hormone prep
• Ethical concerns for some about embryo origin

Comparison Table

Feature	Surrogacy	Adoption	Embryo Adoption
Genetic Connection	Yes (sometimes)	No	No
Carry Pregnancy	No (surrogate does)	No	Yes
Cost	$$$$ ($80k–$150k+)	$$ ($5k–$60k)	$ ($5k–$20k)
Legal Process	Pre-birth orders	Court adoption	Contract + birth certificate
Timeline	12–15 months	12–36+ months	3–9 months
Waitlist/Matching	Moderate	Often long	Short (with embryo bank)
Risk of Reversal	Very low	Possible	Very low

 

Emotional Considerations

Surrogacy

• High involvement in medical decisions
• Strong connection with baby through coordination
• May face judgment or lack of understanding from others

Adoption

• Deep fulfillment in providing a home
• Emotional highs and lows with matching or birth family
• Possibility of grief over lack of biological connection

Embryo Adoption

• Physical bond through pregnancy
• Joy of giving life to a “leftover” embryo
• Complex feelings about genetics and identity

Which Option Is Right for You?

Ask yourself:

• Do I want a genetic link to the child?
• Am I emotionally ready for the waiting and uncertainty of adoption?
• Is carrying a pregnancy important to me?
• What is my budget and timeline?
• Am I open to working with a donor or surrogate?
• Do I want control or flexibility in the process?

There is no “wrong” answer—only the one that aligns with your heart, life, and goals.

Testimonials

“We did surrogacy and used my wife’s egg and my sperm. It was the best choice for our family.”
– Jeff & Marcus, NYC

“We adopted a 3-year-old from foster care. It wasn’t easy, but we have zero regrets.”
– Tina, Boston

“Embryo adoption let me experience pregnancy. I gave birth to a child I carried, even though we weren’t genetically related.”
– Shweta, Toronto

Conclusion

Surrogacy, adoption, and embryo adoption are all powerful, valid paths to parenthood. The best choice depends on your desires, values, resources, and timeline.

At EggDonors4All, we support intended parents through all stages of donor-based family building—including surrogacy and embryo donation—with compassion and clarity.

📞 Want help exploring your family-building options?
Call 1-212-661-7177 or email info@eggdonors4all.com for a free consultation.

About the Author

Dr. Kulsoom Baloch
Dr. Baloch is a fertility and family-building advisor with expertise in surrogacy, embryo donation, and alternative parenting options.